Stranger Things fan admits it sounds like a lot of bollocks

A WOMAN describing the Netflix series Stranger Things has admitted that it does sound shite.

Fan Mary Fisher was explaining the show to a work colleague when she hesitated at the bit about a kid trapped in an alternate dimension.

She said: “There’s these little kids who are into role-playing games and ride around on BMXs, one of them gets abducted by an evil alien.

“But he can still talk to his mum by making lightbulbs flash on and off. And there’s another kid with psychic powers and a shaved head, she’s escaped from some sort of trippy laboratory.

“Matthew Modine is in it, he’s an evil scientist and he has big white hair.”

Fisher’s work mate Roy Hobbs then suggested that what she had described did not sound very good.

Fisher countered: “Yes, it does sound shite.

“But it’s great. It’s not just Stephen King’s It crossed with Stephen King’s Firestarter and seasoned with a bit of ET.

“Well it sort of is that. In fact that is exactly what it is. Look, just let me have this, alright?”

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Everyone worried Owen Smith will try to sell them a vacuum cleaner

BRITONS are worried that Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith might try to sell them life insurance or solar panels, they have revealed.

Many have noted Smith’s resemblance to the sort of salesperson who talks you into buying unnecessary insurance cover or a top-of-the range vacuum cleaner when a £35 one would do.

Teacher Donna Sheridan said: “I’ve got this nagging fear there’ll be a knock on the door and it’ll be Owen asking if he can come in to discuss solar panels.

“Or maybe I’ll go to Currys for a telly and he’ll be there and persuade me it’s ‘worth spending a bit extra’ and I’ll end up with a 75” HD smart TV when I only wanted it to occasionally watch the snooker.

“Maybe it’s because he keeps saying things people want to hear, and the last time someone did that I ended up joining some stupid book club to make my children clever.”

Pensioner Roy Hobbs said: “For all I know he’s as committed to socialist principles as Nye Bevan, but if he comes round here trying to sell me timeshare in Portugal I’m letting the dog out.”

Smith said: “My priority is to make Labour electable again, but since we’re chatting can I ask if you’d be interested in making easy monthly payments towards a deluxe Christmas hamper?”

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