Teenagers marvel as dad recalls putting on album and listening all the way through

TWO teenagers are finding it hard to believe their father would put on LPs and give them his undivided attention all the way through.

Martin Bishop’s sons were sceptical that someone would listen to a record for 30 minutes then turn it over and do the same again without a mobile phone to break up the tedium.

Bishop said: “They couldn’t imagine listening to music without checking your phone messages, although in 1984 I’d have had to go into the hall where the answering machine was.

“They were also confused by not having Instagram or Facebook to distract you. But again, that would have meant taking a Polaroid image of my dinner or whatever and pinning it on a public noticeboard.”

When Bishop’s sons asked him to prove he was not making it up, he demonstrated by putting on the Beatles’ Revolver album. After just two minutes of ‘Taxman’, they were convinced.

John Bishop, 17, said: “It’s amazing. It’s like hearing these stories of people holding their breath for 20 minutes, or sitting on top of a pole just for the sheer test of endurance.”

Bishop added: “I really miss sitting down and listening to records. Although considering most of the albums I used to buy were full of second-rate filler, thank fuck for iTunes.”

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Farage maintains his proud record of never winning an election

NIGEL Farage has once again maintained his 25-year record of never winning a seat in the House of Commons in any by-election or general election.

The Brexit Party leader, who has been running for office since 1994 but ironically has only ever won the European elections he loathes, said it was immensely gratifying to lose a by-election with his new party.

He said: “This is a fantastic result which really does prove I am a political outsider.

“First, I want to thank the people of Peterborough. They knew winning would ruin my quarter-century losing streak, so they got out there in their thousands and didn’t vote for us.

“Second, to all those naysayers shouting ‘But UKIP won by-elections in 2014 and 2015’, I say this. They were both Tory defectors, we lost both seats shortly after and so technically they don’t count.

“I believe that on the back of this result the Brexit Party could go on to lose – and lose badly – in a general election while ensuring that every other party, and the people of Britain, lose as well.”

He added: “It’s odd to think that if I’d won the Eastleigh by-election in 1994 I’d have joined the political elite and wouldn’t be able to keep doing this shit. How lucky we all are.”