MUSICAL tastes are varied and subjective, but every parent has bought and listened to the same shitty albums. Here are the awful CDs cluttering up their racks.
Military Wives: Remember
Commemorating the armed forces is all well and good, but a collection of World War I marching songs belted out by families of those who served doesn’t exactly make for enjoyable listening. Your mum only picked it up because it was on clearance by the WHSmiths self-scan checkout and instantly regretted it.
U2: The Joshua Tree
Just as every student house has a poster of Amelie, every parent has a copy of this middle-of the-road album. Your dad says tracks like ‘With or Without You’ remind him of his misspent youth, whereas in reality he just listened to it on a loop while he toiled away in a dead-end job office cubicle.
Battle of Britain soundtrack
The soaring score that accompanied the 1969 movie is decent enough, although it doesn’t sound half as good when it’s blaring out of your parents’ Volvo 240. That doesn’t stop your dad winding down the window, feeling the wind through his hairless scalp, and imagining that he’s swooping over the White Cliffs of Dover in a Spitfire.
Il Divo: The Greatest Hits
A Christmas 2012 stocking filler for your mum that’s still in its original shrink wrapping. It will never be played, but every now and then your mum likes to look at the sexy Il Divo boys on the cover. Your dad also likes it because he got it on the cheap with his MVC loyalty card.
Any rock anthems compilation that came free with the Mail on Sunday
Despite containing decent tracks by the likes of ZZ Top, this CD’s rock anthems are somewhat undermined because they’re endorsed by the Mail. They’re probably just the cheapest tracks the paper could get copyright clearance for, and it’s a bit off-putting, like imagining your parents trying different sex positions.