JEREMY Clarkson’s show has set a record for illegal downloads by teenagers doing it resentfully because their dad kept asking.
The Grand Tour has been downloaded over 10 million times by sons and daughters who think it is shit but have been badgered into helping their father who lacks the skills or initiative to use a torrent site.
15-year-old Tom Booker said: “I have no idea who the three presenters are, they look like supply teachers, and I dislike helping my dad because it eats into my wanking time.
“He was really insistent though. He hasn’t been this nice to me since there were rumours of a Fiona Phillips sex tape.”
He added: “If anyone at school thinks I downloaded this programme because I like it, I will die a virgin.”
Booker’s father Martin said: “I’ve repeatedly told Tom that stealing is bad, but that applies mainly to shoplifting and car theft.
“These guys are ex-BBC, so really I’ve already paid my license fee to train them in making pithy remarks about exploding vehicles.
“I’m definitely not getting ‘Amazon Pine’ or whatever it’s called.”