The Missing finale reveals kid was in Narnia

CHILD abduction drama The Missing is a prequel to the next Narnia series, it has emerged.

Viewers had braced themselves for the sight of James Nesbitt weeping next to a tiny unmarked grave, only for his absent son to emerge from a cupboard with tales of talking animals and fauns.

Fan Nikki Hollis said: “I was ready for the darkest gloomfest, in fact I was perversely looking forward to that, when suddenly up pops the kid saying how he’d had an adventure in Narnia with an otter called Mr Pixit.

“Then to prove it he pulled out a magical crown that made a normal apple into a toffee apple.

“James Nesbitt was so relieved he didn’t even give him a bollocking.

“Not sure how I feel about it all really. It’s bold but when I watch the final episode of a crime drama I generally want it to put me on a massive downer for several days.”

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Drinking during day temporarily not shameful

THE social stigma attached to daytime drinking sessions has been lifted for the festive season.

From today until January 5, anyone drunk before 4pm cannot be judged even if they are slumped outside a Wetherspoon clinging onto the door for support.

Doctor Tom Booker said: “My wife always gets very antsy when I reach for the whisky at midday so this is great news for our marriage.

“And if I want to go to the pub after lunch I don’t have to spin some yarn about taking the dog to an arboretum. I just say ‘I am going to the pub for the afternoon’ and walk out unmolested.

“I suspect she might have a bit of a cry after I leave, but whatever.”

34-year-old Emma Bradford said: “I went to see my grandmother yesterday morning, to find her perilously drunk on cherry brandy and boasting about how my real father was a Spitfire pilot.

“Fair enough though because I shall be in the sweet embrace of red wine before it gets dark.”