THE most popular men’s Christmas presents, including books, music and computer games, no longer exist as physical things.
Wives are increasingly finding that the only things their menfolk actually want are a series of ones and zeros flowing down a fibre optic cable.
Tom Logan of Preston said: “The wife used to get me CDs, but I’m on Spotify now.
“I only read on the Kindle, I watch everything on Netflix, and I’m going to download all my games in the Steam sale after Christmas.
“Everything I love has become a ghost, and I couldn’t be happier.”
Wife Sarah Logan said: “Luckily you can’t digitise presentation boxes of ales with fleetingly amusing names. For good old-fashioned total shit, you can’t beat the material world.”