EVERYONE loves 80s movies for their neon palette and banging synthesised soundtracks. But rewatching them reveals other key elements which are bizarre:
Sudden toplessness
Nudity has its place in films. In the 1970s they were crazy for it. But only in the 80s were otherwise innocuous scenes suddenly interrupted by a random pair of tits. Why? Was it a contractual obligation? And shouldn’t they warn you when you’ve put this on to watch with the kids?
Danger
Not peril for the characters like powerful monsters or rising plot stakes, but stunts that cause injury and practical effects so temperamental they could obliterate a town in minutes. When 80s actors are running with terror on their faces, it’s genuine.
Weird racism
Changing attitudes will always create some cringe-worthy moments in older movies. But the 80s specialised in making their racism absolutely unhinged. Movies from this era will offend in ways you didn’t think were possible. All Libyans are terrorists, right?
Some big old nerds
Whatever was going on in the 1980s, people were obsessed with nerds and geeks. Approaching a slow moment in the story? No problem, bring in a couple of guys in glasses with their top buttons done up to get things moving again. Cast Asian characters in these roles for weird racism as above.
Slang nobody ever said
The nerds get abused onscreen but the cool kids get off scot-free, even when they’re coming out with words only ever heard from the mouths of babies learning to talk. Sorry jocks, it’s not shibby or trunkicular to say shibby or trunkicular.
Everyone and their dog is smoking
We get it, the stop smoking campaigns hadn’t fully taken effect yet. Having said that, from a logistical standpoint, surely every character didn’t have to smoke quite that much. The world could be saved a lot faster if the hero didn’t have to light a gasper every five minutes.
