University Challenge Contestant May Not Have Been Worthless Layabout
THE BBC has launched an inquiry after claims a member of the winning team on University Challenge may not have been a lazy, self-indulgent ponce.
It has emerged that contestant Sam Kay, from Corpus Christi College, Oxford, may have actually got off his arse and poked his spotty face into the real world for five minutes.
The University Challenge rules state that all four team members must be work-shy spongers who sit around the common room of their fancy college all day pretending to be Stephen Fry.
But PricewaterhouseCoopers confirmed it employed Kay last October to hang about the office wearing a George at Asda suit while asking one stupid bloody question after another.
Kay said he was an idle show-off when he applied to the show and continued to sleep all morning and then buy cheap, nasty food and watch Celebrity Cash in the Attic in an ironic fashion right up until the quarter finals.
A BBC spokesman said: "The rules are pretty strict but given the number of times Kay actually pressed his buzzer he may as well have been a cardboard cut-out of a trainee accountant."
However the defeated finalists from Manchester insist they do not want a rematch because that would mean less time with their spoilt little faces shoved up their arseholes. Captain Matthew Yeo, added: "It's only 11 o'clock. Leave me alone."
Meanwhile it has emerged that unstoppable killing machine Gail Trimble has become engaged.
Friends say the Corpus Christi winning captain interrupted her boyfriend's proposal during a weekend in Paris after boring him shitless with the exact dimensions of the Eiffel Tower.