Warcraft fans can't wait to illegally download the film

THE announcement of a World of Warcraft film has left the game’s reclusive, tech-savvy fanbase itching to torrent it.

Warcraft fan Stephen Malley said: “As a fully-fledged geek the two things I most dislike are leaving the house and paying to watch films.

“So it’s great that Hollywood is finally making a mega-budget blockbuster aimed at my demographic.

“I hope for their sake it’s some kind of a tax write-off thing.”

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Beckham to help poor children have better hair

DAVID Beckham will donate his salary to disadvantaged children with unco-operative hair.

The new Paris Saint Germain player revealed he would earn no money playing for the French club side as he wanted to end the ‘scandal’ of  children under 10 without sculpting mousse.

He said: “I’ve realised that because football is obviously not a job, I shouldn’t really take any money for doing it.

“I accumulate the vast majority of my wealth by being professionally stylish. But it occurred to me there are still too many children who will never be able to afford most of the products I advertise. Especially the underpants.

“But that doesn’t mean they have to run around dirty back streets with unruly hair. I just want them to have access to the same gel and mousse as my children.

“Hopefully stylish hair will give them the confidence they need to lift themselves out of poverty and afford a pair of Police sunglasses.”

He added: “Perhaps one day I will meet one of these youngsters and he will look up at me and say ‘if it wasn’t for you Mr David, these Adidas trainers would be knock-offs’.”

Meanwhile, Beckham’s move has been welcomed by Parisian high society who find his wife’s fashion label incredibly amusing.