Thursday, 13th May 2021

We’re not going back to work until we've finished our box-sets, Britain tells government

BRITISH workers have demanded assurances that they get to see how Breaking Bad and Mad Men end before returning to their workplaces. 

The government has signalled the easing of lockdown could see millions back in work, but have been warned that unless Netflix binges are allowed to conclude they may simply be told ‘No’.

Tom Logan, an insurance broker working from home, said: “I’m doing my bit. I’m watching seven episodes a day.

“So the government, and my employers, need to honour the commitment I’ve made and let me get to the end of season five before they do anything rash. I accept Walter’s probably a goner but for God’s sake, Boris, let me find out Jesse gets through okay.”

Teacher Donna Sheridan agreed: “We can’t live like this forever. But nor can Don Draper live with the lie of his life forever, and I’ve only got two seasons to go.

“I need cast-iron guarantees from the government that we can get to the end of series like this, and The Sopranos, and what’s more for a compensation scheme in place in case of spoilers.”