THE BBC has repeated the 2006 Jools Holland’s Hootenanny every New Year’s Eve since and nobody has noticed, it has emerged.
Due to being too drunk, distracted or apathetic, no viewers have yet realised that Holland is introducing Lilly Allen performing her brand new song LDN for the 17th year in a row.
A BBC spokesperson said: “The Hootenanny isn’t something anybody genuinely watches. It’s just the soundtrack to suffering.
“Whether you’re in alone grimly waiting out the year, parents counting the minutes until they tuck exhaustion-crazed children to bed, couples pretending this is fine or in the stupor of middle age, nobody pays it a moment’s attention.
“You’d think Amy Winehouse being on it would be a dead giveaway, given she is long-deceased, but The Kooks are on and if anything that’s more jarring. Not one letter to Ofcom.
“If you’re watching the Hootenanny your life has swerved into a ditch. The last thing you’re focusing on is this shit.
“It’s saved hundreds of thousands, so it’s win-win for everyone. Except for Jools. He spends the night on an empty soundstage playing boogie-woogie piano and howling.”