Wednesday, 5th August 2020

'Woke' man trying desperately to explain Motley Crue CDs in car

A 'WOKE' man is twisting himself in knots attempting to explain some Mötley Crüe CDs in his car.

Tom Booker’s stash of 80s hair metal was discovered by a friend, leading to a flustered but passionate defence from Booker.

The 28-year-old, who proudly signals his self-determined progressive beliefs at every opportunity, admits the discovery of the albums is a potentially huge setback.

Booker said: “Things were different back then and it’s important to contextualise songs like Motherfucker of the Year and lyrics like ‘I got the photos, a manage et trois,
musta broke those Frenchies’ laws with those’.

"Because I'm 'woke' I don’t necessarily agree with everything the Crüe said or did, but we cannot whitewash history."

Booker added: “Also, I actually only bought these albums in an ironic way, so you are not allowed to criticise me for it. And I’m pretty sure they are only joking in their songs anyway, and they’re not even mine, they’re my cousin’s.”