A WOMAN has finally collected enough dick pics from Tinder for a game of Top Trumps.
The unsolicited penile portraits have been assigned ratings for Length, Girth, Hygiene, Sheer Laughability and The Ick to make a fun game for women aged between 18 and 80 to enjoy.
Jo Kramer, aged 29, said: “Why let them go to waste, I thought, when you can get a few chuckles out of this relentless cavalcade of off-putting members?
“You might think you’ve got everyone beaten with an especially gross, drooping one then your mate comes in with something so small and crooked it looks like a shrivelled mushroom at the back of the vegetable drawer.
“Or you’ve got a lengthy one you feel can beat all-comers and get totally trumped with a schlong so large it looks like a gardening implement and could clearly never get properly hard.
“They’ve all got the owners’ names on, because why the f**k not, and I’m going into commercial production, because why the f**k not. What are they going to do, sue and let everyone put a face to the cock?”
She added: “How long did it take me to get enough for a full pack? Five days.”