World War Z apparently about jogging

THE mega-budget Brad Pitt film World War Z appears to be about lots of people going for a run together.

The trailer for the summer blockbuster, which had been rumoured to involve zombies, shows hordes of people running for no apparent reason.

A studio source said: “It’s a nightmarish vision of a world where everyone is constantly running.

“It confronts issues like how the human race would stay hydrated in this situation, and whether our species could cope with really bad blisters.”

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Hitler barrel not fully scraped

HITLER-BASED entertainment bullshit will continue to be produced for another 200 years, experts have claimed.

They believe it will be possible to produce new works of ‘Hitler-tainment’ by focusing on increasingly obscure aspects of his life, such as Eva Braun’s favourite hat.

Historian Denys Finch Hatton said: “Whether Hitler liked cakes is of no significance whatsoever, but that needn’t stop you writing a book about it, as I did with Cakes of the Reich.

“There are also the accounts of people who have some highly tenuous connection to the Führer, such as the great-grandchildren of the tailor who supplied his socks.

“If you run out of actual facts there is always wild speculation, such as ‘Did Hitler ever go to the moon in a Nazi flying saucer?’

“Obviously he didn’t, but a skilled TV producer will be able to turn this into an hour-long programme by using lots of cheap CGI and endlessly repeating the initial question until you want to punch the fucking screen in.”

Forthcoming Hitler-related works include the book The Man Who Met Hitler’s Cousin and the Discovery Channel series Hitler’s Most Evil Pets.

Office worker Stephen Malley said: “Hitler killed millions of people, but he provided millions more with something to read on the bus, so there are two sides to everything.

“I’d hate it if they ran out of Hitler stuff, but since Toilets of the Nazis is on tonight, I don’t think they will.”