A DAZZLED Royal-watching nutter has proclaimed that the Jubilee has proved well worth camping on the Mall and crapping in carrier bags for.
Nathan Muir, 42, said: “The balcony moment, the fly-past, the lighting of the Tree of Trees: it’s been incredible. Every piss in a bottle was worth it.
“For the Queen I’ve spent the last seven days living like a homeless heroin addict. The cold, the rain, the exposure, waking up to find rats nibbling my sandwiches – that’s nothing compared to the sacrifices she’s made for her country.
“People say ‘Your life is empty, Nath’ or ‘You need more than just the Royals, you need real friends’. Well they’ve been proven dead wrong.
“Honestly, on Thursday with front-row seats to see them standing half a mile away on that balcony, Harry and Meghan rightly excised, I was the happiest man in Britain. That glow will last for months.
“Platinum Party at the Palace was mega. I didn’t have a ticket, but you could see all the lights and hear some of the songs. Now this afternoon it’s the Platinum Pageant. Apparently there are corgi puppets. I can’t wait.
“Then, after it’s finished, I’ll go home to my bedsit in Nuneaton knowing I live in the greatest country in the world with the greatest monarch and life doesn’t get any better than this.”