TWATS working in TV are creaming themselves at the prospect of Boris Johnson being free to boost ratings on their dreadful shows.
Shallow media bastards with no memory or moral compass believe Johnson’s contrived, shambling persona would draw in Saturday night audiences eager to see his fat face fill their TV screens, which sadly it would.
Tom Logan of Big Aardvark Productions said: “Brits love a bumbling posh chap. Look at the way he goofed the pandemic, causing tens of thousands of surplus deaths by not locking down soon enough. Pure Bertie Wooster.
“I’d like to see him get his own show. Tess Daly as co-host for a bit of glamour. Each week Boris would f**k up various things, like buying a rail ticket to Leek. You’d have to be mental not to watch that. It’s TV f**king gold.”
Jack Browne of Yah! Yah! Productions said: “I envisage a Bake Off clone with Boris presenting alongside Nadiya Hussain. They’d be the original odd couple – her a Muslim, him a casual racist.
“She could bake something, he’d make some comment about letterboxes, and she’d say ‘Oh, Boris!’, or something. It’d be top bantz. And Boris could pretend not to know what basic kitchen items like a spoon were because he’s posh.
“It’d be better than Ed Balls and Michael Portillo rolled into one. He might become so popular as a TV personality he could relaunch his political career and become prime minister again. Wouldn’t that be brilliant?”