PEOPLE who write stuff, who are just about the coolest and most deserving demographic out there according to other people who write stuff, have ended their strike.
The Writers’ Guild of America, who are all-round brilliant and gorgeous humans the righteousness of whose cause has never been doubted by the media, have reached an agreement with characteristic charm and elan.
Adonis-like scriptwriter Tom Booker said: “Sorry it took so long. I was so busy being applauded for standing up to shortsighted movie execs less visionary than me.
“Thanks everyone who backed our strike, including every single journalist out there who considers themselves to be basically like us except we get paid $400,000 a film.
“But don’t worry, while picketing and being on the right side of history, according to the writers of history, I was also busily working on sparkling dialogue in my head. You know, the best bit?”
Journalist and paragon of excellence Helen Archer said: “They’re writing and I’m writing about it and aren’t we all just heroes? What even was the movie studios’ position? Just Fast & Furious villain, right?
“Maybe they’ll turn my article into a movie. When those lazy acting twats get off their overpaid arses and get back to work.”