Writing a novel a lot f**king harder than writing ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’, say novelists

ANGRY novelists have stressed that writing a novel is really difficult and writing some folks songs is not.

As Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature, dozens of leading novelists said it takes ages to write a book, especially a really good one involving ‘magical realism’.

Reacting to the announcement, Sir Salman Rushdie said: “You’re fucking kidding me?

Satanic Verses was not only incredibly challenging to write but has caused me a fair degree of difficulty.

“If only I’d bought myself a banjo.”

John Irving, author of The World According to Garp, added: “Presumably Mr Dylan will be sharing the prize with the other surviving members of the Traveling Wilburys?”

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Ask Holly: Seeing as Brexit is going so well, maybe I should try to start a war too?

Dear Holly,

I’m really enjoying being foreign secretary, especially because I get to noise up mad old Putin. Seeing as Brexit is going so well, should I maybe try to take Britain to the brink of nuclear war too? What japes!



Dear Boris,

Be careful picking fights with people in case they have a mentalist dad from Glasgow who drinks Tennants Super lager and calls everyone ‘big man’, even babies. He’ll come round your house and start shouting at your mum in a weird language no-one understands and your dad will mysteriously lock himself in the bathroom for 20 minutes.

Hope that helps