Man unable make it through day without taste of yeast

A MARMITE fan is worried he cannot function without the delightful taste of yeast.

After a pricing row threatened supply of Marmite, office worker Tom Booker believes he cannot live happily without his daily fix of a fungus that is also associated with the itchy groin complaint thrush.

He said: “I think we can all agree there’s nothing like the heavy, acrid taste of yeast, especially when contained within a cloying tar-like paste.

“If this Tesco thing doesn’t get sorted out I may have to cultivate my own yeast spores in a Petri dish.

“Just the thought it of makes my mouth water.”

He added: “Yeast is the best, nothing else comes close for sheer yeastiness.”

Consumer affairs analyst Nikki Hollis said: “If Unilever’s pricing demands are not met, Britons may be deprived of their favourite brands for long enough to realise they are vile corporate mulch that even a fox wouldn’t eat.”