All companies now have punk ethos

EVERY company now has a ‘punk ethos’ that drives it forward.

Firms, including fashion chains, software developers and multinational petrochemical corporations, have all confirmed they are challenging establishment values in a dangerous, edgy way.

Business analyst Julian Cook said: “Your customers want to know that you’re not playing by the same old bullshit rules. Why would anyone buy a product that was not the result of creative anarchy?”

Clothing retailer Martin Bishop, said: “Being punk is what we’re all about. That’s why we buy the products in China for a couple of pence and then sell them in Britain for a couple of quid.

“It’s all totally punk as fuck.”

Banking executive Roy Hobbs added: “We loan people money for things they can’t afford and then threaten them with the bailiffs when they don’t pay it back.

“So my biggest influence would have to be Joe Strummer.”