INTERNET giant Amazon is no longer selling any products following disputes with every publisher, film producer, record label and mop manufacturer in the world.
The online retailer, which has pulled everything it sells from its website, has asked its customers to remain loyal and continue giving it money until these problems are sorted out.
A spokesman said: “Our ongoing attempts to get the best price and pass discounts on to the consumer has reached the point where we’re no longer prepared to pay our suppliers anything.
“For the moment they’ve rejected this deal but we’re confident they’ll soon accept it’s for the best, just like all the employees in our warehouses do.
“Please feel free to use your Kindle as a ping-pong bat until then.”
Consumer Emma Bradford of Chester said: “But where will I get all my films, all my music, all my e-books without Amazon?
“Oh yeah, I can just BitTorrrent them all for nothing. I’ll do that.”