‘On hold’ music to get angrier the longer you are on hold

THE length of time a person has been on hold to a call centre is to be reflected by increasingly furious hold music. 

Businesses from internet providers to banks will match songs to customers’ frustration as they spend minutes of their lives they will never get back waiting on the phone.

Customer relations manager Martin Bishop said: “It starts gently, with a Groove Armada chill-out track, then moves to irritating with a bit of Taylor Swift.

“After ten minutes we go to really intensely irritating with a medly of Crazy Frog, Willow Smith’s Whip My Hair and Black Eyed Peas’ My Humps. 

“From there it’s straight to anger, soundtracked by Rage Against The Machine and Public Enemy, and by the time you’ve been on hold for half-an-hour – highly likely – you’ll be listening to Kill Fuck Die by W.A.S.P.”

Customer Tom Logan said: “It really is a musical journey, sequenced like the best mixtapes.

“I punched a hole in the wall of my own house, so it perfectly captured the mood.”