THE Apple corporation’s new HQ has been designed to channel messages from Steve Jobs.
Leaked plans showed that the giant circular structure’s inner ring would be divided into segments, each labelled with a letter of the alphabet.
In the centre stands a huge wedge-shaped object that up to a hundred employees would simultaneously touch while asking Jobs for guidance.
However work on the $5 billion structure has been postponed after it emerged that Apple had given most of its money to a medium called Madam D’Ananas who told them ‘Steve says you should do some jumpers’.
An Apple spokesman said: “It’s not like we’re freaking out or anything. We know Steve’s out there and he’s going to make everything right.
“Just yesterday a magpie landed on my office window and cawed twice. Are you telling me that’s coincidence?”
Employee Julian Cook said: Since things got tougher, this corporation has become obsessed with the spirit world.
“I said in a meeting our competitors are making products of comparable quality for a cheaper price, but everyone ignored me.
Then I said it again in a spooky voice, using a crystal ball instead of a projector and got a standing ovation.