APPLE has retaliated against Tesco’s tablet computer by opening a minimalist supermarket selling forward-thinking foods.
AppleMart’s flagship product is a tin of beans with an intuitive ringpull and tomato sauce that connects the consumer’s tongue to a range of social media.
The store occupies a vast warehouse space but only has six products including the beans and a tiny green ball called an iLettuce, which are displayed on perspex plinths.
Apple acolyte Nikki Hollis said: I paid £30 for a trolley but after reading the terms and conditions it appeared I wouldnt get that back.
“They then said if I wanted to browse the bread aisle I needed an upgraded trolley that cost another fifty quid.
“But the kids have said they’re fine with having less food if it means they’re part of a cool brand.”
AppleMart will be promoted by a TV ad campaign featuring silhouetted dancers holding up rolls of bin bags and jars of mayonnaise.
Home shopping customers have been advised that groceries scheduled for delivery tonight are delayed until mid-November while Apple irons out a loaf bug that has caused some bread bins to explode.