THE Tree of the Year competition is dominated by trees with wealthy and well-connected parents, critics have claimed.
Many believe the Woodland Trusts contest to find Britains best tree excludes trees from ordinary arboreal backgrounds.
Horse chestnut tree Tom Logan said: I was going to enter Tree of the Year because Im big, green and Ive got massive conkers.
Then I saw the shortlist and it was full of the saplings of famous trees. There was an apple tree whose dad dropped the apple on Isaac Newton, and the daughter of the oak that Robin Hood hid in.
Ordinary trees like me dont stand a chance against these posh trees with their private nurseries and expensive tree surgeons paid for by mummy and daddy.
Now I suppose Ill just stay here in the park getting pissed on by dogs until I get all my branches cut off by risk-averse council workmen.
A spokesman for the Woodland Trust said it welcomed all trees, but admitted that trees from well-off backgrounds tended to be better pruned and made a nicer rustling sound.
Willow tree Susan Traherne said: I suppose some people would say Im privileged because my parents live in Kew Gardens and my great-great-great-great grandmother was the tree aspirin was first derived from.
But Im only entering Tree of the Year as a bit of a laugh before I go to Oxford then get a job in politics or the media.