Big accountancy firm accused of saving people money

BRITAIN’S biggest accountancy firm has been accused of organising its clients’ finances and helping them reduce their tax bills.

According to MPs on the Pubic Accounts Committee, PricewaterhouseCoopers helped companies cut their corporation tax by setting up bases in Luxembourg, in blatant accordance with the law.

A spokesman for PricewaterhouseCoopers said: “Because we’re not utter fucking morons we tend to look at the laws as they are rather than how some people think they should be.

“And then right, get this – we do our job.

“If you don’t like the laws then you should talk to the people who make them. I’ll give you a great big fucking clue – it’s not us.”

He added: “The really troubling thing about this is why PricewaterhouseCoopers is all one word.”


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Online personality quiz finds user to be gullible procrastinator

AN ONLINE personality test has proved 100 per cent accurate in predicting the woman completing it is self-obsessed and bored with her job.

Junior accountant Emma Bradford, who in the last week alone has completed quizzes revealing her to be Ross from Friends, Ron Weasley from Harry Potter and Michael Heseltine from the 1979-1983 Thatcher cabinet, spent more than two hours on the survey.

The test stunned her with an accurate assessment that she places too much faith in spurious psychometric tests, puts off hard work and irritates others by posting test results on Facebook.

Bradford said: “Apparently I’m someone who has an extremely unfulfilling yet cushy job, a narcissistic desire to make myself the centre of any conversation and a desperate need to fit my aimless life into a wider narrative.

“The quiz also mentioned that I was in danger of receiving a verbal warning from my manager for doing too many online quizzes, which happened the very next day. Spooky.”

The history of personality quizzes goes back to the Rorschach test, developed in 1921 by Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach, who wanted to confirm that random shapes would make him think about sex.