BMW 4 x 4 openly marketed to pricks

A BMW jeep-type thing is being openly advertised as a vehicle for pricks.

With the slogan ‘Fuck Everyone’, the massive, gleaming 4X4 is the first high-end car in history with advertising that acknowledges its appeal to the very worst kind of man.

Advertising creative Tom Logan said: “We’ve always tried to skirt around the prick thing, focusing instead on vague allusions to prickness like ‘because you demand the best’.

“But the thing with pricks is they don’t care about being pricks, in fact they rather like it.”

A television advert for the X4 shows it driving really fast alongside a busy school playground, then nearly knocking over a lolipop lady before being parked across two disabled spaces.

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Mark E Smith named as X Factor judge

THE Fall frontman Mark E Smith is to be a judge in the next series of The X Factor.

The 57-year-old Salfordian will mentor the groups to sing versions of Beyonce songs in a barking monotone through a megaphone while wearing polyester shirts.

Smith said: “The first thing I’ll be doing is firing half the members of the house band due to musical differences.”

Smith has also written the X Factor Christmas single Accrington Car Park Idiot.

There has already been tension during auditions, with Smith punching both Ant and Dec after accusing them of stealing his fags from his dressing room, as well as a fall out with Mel B over access to the show’s makeup artist.

Cowell said: “I’ve always been a massive Fall fan and if you listen to the Robson & Jerome album you can see it’s clearly influenced by Hex Enduction Hour.”

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