Bosses acting like bank holiday was their idea

BOSSES are acting like the bank holiday is a special treat of their devising.

46-year-old company director Roy Hobbs said: “There’s no legal obligation to give employees the day off, I just thought it’d be nice because I am a giving, caring corporate father figure.

“And I suppose it’s something for staff to bear in mind next time I ask them to work on a Saturday.”

53-year-old boss Susan Traherne agreed: “Everybody, have this one on me because I am amazing.

“Or come in if you want, depends how much you value your prospects.”

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Co-worker accused of not being 'fun'

SALES administrator Tom Booker failed to show enthusiasm during a works outing, it has been claimed.

Colleagues claim 24 year-old Booker looked ‘pissed off’ during a visit to an 80s-themed club night and did not even dance to Love Shack by the B-52s.

Booker’s line manager Nikki Hollis said: “At one point I dragged him onto the dancefloor, he shuffled about half-heartedly then made some excuse about needing the toilet.

“Later we spent 20 minutes scouring the club for him, only to find he’d left without saying goodbye. What sort of person doesn’t like having a laugh?

“An untrustworthy person.”

However Booker refuted the claims, adding: “It was okay for a bit, but then I got tired.”

Booker’s colleague Emma Bradford said: “The tunes were mint. They played Danger Zone out of Top Gun and then Take on Me at the end of the night.

“Apparently it wasn’t good enough for him. Who the fuck does he think he is? Prince Charles?

“I say we kill him and pretend he tripped over a bin.”