Sunday, 8th December 2019

Brexit to revive struggling Readers' Wives industry

A HARD Brexit would give the UK’s struggling Readers’ Wives industry the shot in the arm it needs to survive, experts believe. 

Under no-deal European pornography imports would face heavy tariffs, giving homegrown amateurs an opportunity to effectively take over the lower end of the market.

Dr Denys Finch Hatton, professor of porn at the University of Buckingham, said: “Without the EU, and with no trade deal with the USA, we would be forced to become erotically self-sufficient.

“Necessity is the mother of invention, or in this case the MILF. The UK could draw on its untapped wife reserves and, if it can get past the glasses and the dubiously-decorated lounge, still triumph.

“We have relied on imported grot for too long and it’s hurt our bottom line – and our pride.”

Reader’s Wife Joanna Kramer said: “When I first got into the industry, whether on the bonnet of a Ford Escort or in the bathroom of a suburban Wimpey, we knew that we were helping Britain. Foreign jazz mags took that away.

“It’s long past time we had a return to looking at pictures of naked ladies and wondering whether you recognise them from the tills at Asda.”