Bus company announces plan to do its job properly

A BUS company has unveiled a radical new approach that involves buses running vaguely on time.

With buses across the UK turning up whenever the fuck they feel like it, the new plan will see bus drivers at least try to conform to some sort of timetable.

A spokesperson for the newly-formed Punctua-Bus company said: “Rather than just saying fuck it and letting the buses come and go on a random basis, or just cancelling services without telling anyone while they wait in the rain, we’ll try to organise them a bit.

“We can’t promise that every bus will be on time as that would require genuinely hard work and commitment to our jobs, and who’s got time for that?

“But what we can guarantee is when the bus is 20 minutes late after the last bus didn’t show up, the drivers will now be encouraged to acknowledge this and not just snarl at you for wanting to get to work.”

Bus driver, Bill McKay said: “I don’t like these new fangled ideas about being on time and not acting like a prick.

“I mean, what’s the point in being a bus driver if you don’t get to be a prick?”