Clowning no longer seen as a desirable career, clowns complain

A LEADING clown union has complained that creepy clown sightings are putting young people off clowning as a career. 

The National Union of Mimes, Clowns and Pierrots say that the UK’s once-thriving clowning industry could die out if children see clowns as sinister or frightening.

Norman Steele, professionally known as Jim-Jo, said: “When I grew up in Yorkshire, you either went down the mines, did factory work or took up clowning.

“My father was a clown, his father was a clown, the bucket of glitter handed down the generations, but my eight-year-old thinks there’s something ‘chilling’ about it and it breaks my heart.

“The kiddies’ faces crumple in terror when they used to light with delight, the dogs howl, and it’s all thanks to these Halloween costumes and these Americans.

“There’s nothing scary about a clown. Nothing. We’re hilarious.”

Stephen Malley, aged 20, said: “I’m two years into a three-year vocational course at clown college, but to be honest I’m wondering if I made the right decision.

“But apparently while 65 per cent of graduates go into clowning or clown-related work, the rest end up in accountancy or politics.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Child visits terrifying house where they turn off the telly

A 10-YEAR-OLD boy has visited a real-life house of horrors where the television is sometimes turned off for hours at a time. 

Tom Logan of Bury saw the chilling sight of a blank, lifeless screen at his posh friend Seb’s house and said he found it so unsettling he could not stay in the same room.

He said: “It was just there, dead, and they were talking away as if nothing was wrong, as if the room wasn’t dominated by this unearthly silence.

“I understand something there’s nowt on worth watching, but that’s why they have Channel 4 Racing, MTV or in times of desperation, Sky Sports News.

“Would these monsters just put a black hood on their own family members until they were ready for more of their company?

“It was on later and it lifted my heart to see it so happy, so full of colour and life. Then, with a single push of a red button, they killed it right before my eyes.”

Tom admits he left the house and ran all the way home and right up to his bedroom, where his own television was still happily burbling away just as he had left it six hours earlier.