Couple who bought house now interested in ‘the economy’

A COUPLE who bought a house are suddenly interested in ‘the economy’, their friends have confirmed.

Ever since purchasing a two-bedroom end-of-terrace, Stephen Malley and Eleanor Shaw have been making a big show of reading the financial pages and talking about exchange rates.

Malley said: “No more Maxim for me, it’s the FT all the way. I still wank over it, but in a different way.

“After all, investing in property is one of the biggest commitments you can make. What’s going to happen to the value if the Dow Jones takes a plunge, or wheat prices fall? Then we’d have to invest in wine or vintage action figures.”

Friend Joanna Kramer said: “Every conversation ends up being about the economy, like they’re Warren fucking Buffet or something. Honestly, no one cares if interest rates go up by quarter of a per cent, or the pound drops against the yen.

“They used to be okay but after this house thing they’ve become everything they used to hate.”

Eleanor Shaw added: “We’ve actually started a band called The Economy, inspired by capitalism and a solid work ethic. We sound quite like Mumford and Sons.”