Crazy bastard ignores warning about email having no subject

AN OFFICE worker has gone ahead and fired off an email in total disregard of his computer’s warning that it had no subject.

Devil-may-care brand analyst Tom Booker deliberately left the subject line blank, giving the email’s recipients no hint as to its contents, because he lives on the edge.

Booker said: “The conventions of electronic correspondence mean nothing to me.

“Sure, it’s a risk. Yes, people might get upset. But I thrive off the adrenaline rush of sticking it to the establishment.

“I file expense forms up to a week late. I push the boundaries of casual Friday as far as they will go. I take personal calls at my desk and I make no apologies for it.

“Wag your fingers and click your tongues all you want, petit bourgeois conformists. You can’t control me. The thug life is the only life I know.”

Booker’s colleague Mary Fisher said: “Tom’s been round. He wanted to know who’d taken his special pen.”

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May considering bringing back workhouses for a laugh

THERESA May is so confident of her election victory that she is toying with bringing back workhouses just because she could. 

The prime minister has commissioned a feasibility study into reintroducing Dickensian workhouses for the poor simply because nobody can come close to stopping her.

She contined: “Treadmills, debtor’s prisons, why not? Maybe public hangings. It’s open season for us.

“I didn’t get into politics to become a monstrous right-wing ideologue, but come on. This is what happens when you have literally no opposition.

“Maybe I’ll abolish pensions as well. And child labour laws. And the universal franchise. I’m confident everyone would vote for me regardless.

“I’m sick of pretending to take this election seriously. It’s in the bag. Let’s have some fun.”