JEREMY Corbyn has made a private call to Downing Street to ask what the fuck a mugwump is and if he is meant to be offended.
The Labour leader, who has been accused of being a ‘mutton-headed old mugwump’ by foreign secretary Boris Johnson, has requested urgent clarification on what in shit the idiot meant.
He continued: “This is meant to be an election campaign, not an opportunity to reaquaint Britain with William Burroughs’s The Naked Lunch.
“A fucking mugwump? Yeah, let me just dig out my dictionary. Oh it’s not in the modern one, I’ll have to get the nineteen-fucking-hundred edition.
“It’s an insult used in the 1884 presidential elections. Really. You know what politicians will call lying sacks of shit who fuck up their own countries on a whim in a century’s time? They’ll call them Boris.”
Boris Johnson said: “Regretfully, it has been brought to my attention that most of the country believes me to have made a reference to something called ‘Harry Potter’.
“I therefore have no option but to offer my resignation.”