Every middle-class shopper has different list of things Aldi is good for

EVERY middle-class family believes Aldi is great for certain products but no two lists are the same, researchers have found. 

The families each believe themselves shrewd for picking up select items at bargain prices, while disagreeing violently on which items to buy.

Julian Cook of Fareham said: “That’s the Johnsons over there. Saw them in M&S Food this morning. What on earth are they putting in their trolley?

“Cucumbers? Dear oh dear. Some people can’t tell wheat from chaff. Get another of those toilet rolls, they’re just as good as Andrex.”

Francesca Johnson replied: “Urrgh, they’re buying the bog roll. Remind me not to shake hands with him for a couple of months.

“Don’t they realise this place is only good for fresh stuff? Stick those chops in. Half what you’d pay at Sainsburys.”

Consumer expert Joanna Kramer said: “What these families of good incomes are buying from budget supermarkets are not goods, but the thrill of being crafty consumers pulling a fast one.

“None of them eats the stuff they’ve bought from Aldi, because it’s weird.

“Except the big prawns. The big prawns are awesome.”