Please explain the concept of a ‘taxi’ to us again, says Uber

AN Uber executive has asked the European court if it can explain what a ‘taxi’ is again but slower because he still does not get it. 

Following a ruling by the ECJ that Uber is not an information society service but a cab firm, Uber has requested clarification on this baffling ‘cab firm’ concept. 

Julian Cook, of Uber UK, said: “So they’re like… cars? That stop when you wave an arm and take you places? But what does that have to do with us? 

“I suppose one of the parties we supply information to has a car, but that’s hardly uncommon and it’s none of our business what they do with it.

“Possibly transport is facilitated.  I’ve heard rumours. Yet to suggest Uber has anything to do with that is absurd. What are we, a bored middle-aged lady doing her nails in an all-night office? 

“No, we are merely a conduit of information, and know nothing of tawdry material ‘taxis’ or ‘drivers with criminal records’. Regulating us would be as impossible as regulating a whisper on the wind.

“Anyway, look forward to our new business, UberSexyGirlsFullBodyMassage, which puts users with needs in touch with self-employed entrepreneurs who may or may not choose to supply them with certain services. 

“That’s not illegal either. You can’t fucking touch us.”