THE kindly-seeming old ladies running HSBC have decided to sack 8,000 people because profits are down.
The pink-haired billionaire spinsters, who appear in the bank’s TV adverts helping a local girl to become a fashion designer, delivered the bad news via scrawled notes on pink scented paper.
32-year-old assistant mortgage advisor Norman Steele said: “There was an envelope on my desk this morning. It smelled of lilacs and had my name written on it in shaky pensioner handwriting.
“Inside was a note saying ‘Dear Norman, FUCK OFF, from the ‘Pink Ladies’.”
An HSBC spokesman said: “The pink ladies are all about making dreams come true.
“This is Norman’s chance to follow his heart and become a marine biologist, if he can do that with no money.”