A CANCER cure has lost out on Kickstarter to a humorous scheme to buy a garden gnome a hat.
The groundbreaking cancer project set up by Cambridge-trained scientists raised £47 compared with the £3,745,980 given to Australian Tom Logan to buy headwear for his gnome, ‘Dunky’.
28-year-old Logan said: With all the money Ive raised, Dunkys getting the best hat in the world. And by hat I mean prostitutes and blow and by Dunky I mean me.
I never expected to make this because there are so many other worthwhile Kickstarter projects out there, like building statues of Batman or developing browser-based fantasy games.
Dunky has told me to tell everyone how excited he is about his new hat and hes looking forward to all his gnome buddies coming round to see it.
Scientist Mary Fisher said: I just hope when everyones got cancer they remember the seconds of amusement they got from funding another whimsical internet viral.
A spokesman for Kickstarter said: “Funding for projects is totally democratic, and therefore largely based on the folly of idiots.
If youve got a worthwhile project, couch it in terms that appeal to the sort of dicks who will fund anything to do with legal marijuana, superhero porn and bronies.
For example if youre designing a nautical warning beacon, you might want to add a detachable bong in the shape of Wonder Woman.