Sunday, 9th August 2020

Landlord disgusted to discover you've been eating, sleeping and shitting in his investment

A LANDLORD has been horrified to learn that his tenants have made themselves at home in his investment property to the point of shitting in it.

Norman Steele let himself into the two-bed flat yesterday, and was shocked and appalled by how lived-in it looked.

He said: “State of the place. This is my bloody pension.

“There was washing-up in the sink, food in the cupboards, sheets on the beds. When you move furniture there’s a mark on the carpet where it was. It shows a complete lack of respect.

“You should’ve seen this place when I bought it. Pristine. And they don’t have an ounce of shame. Say they’re paying me ‘a grand a month’. Yes, to look after it.

“I heard the toilet flush, even. I only had that installed because it will increase my retirement lump sum in the long-term. But not if they keep shitting in it.”

Tenant Lucy Parry said: “I told him it was just a wee, but he’s adamant it constitutes breach of contract. He said ‘Would you piss on a man’s stock portfolio?’”