McDonald’s identifies potentially lucrative ‘bereaved kid’ demographic

A MCDONALD’S marketing meeting has decided that bereaved children will probably want some burgers.

The fast food chain’s new ‘dead dad’ advert is the result of a discussion during which executives decided that they should go after children who might be a bit peckish following a personal loss.

McDonald’s marketing executive Tom Booker said: “Not only are bereaved kids looking to fill a void in their lives, they’ve also probably been given a fiver or even a tenner by their remaining relatives to cheer them up a bit.

“They may even have just gotten an inheritance, which they could be looking to spend on burgers and those fucked-up things we call ‘apple pies’.”

The McDonald’s television advert features a mother explaining to her son how his recently-deceased dad loved to eat ‘filet-o-fish’ burgers, causing some to speculate if this may actually have caused his death.

28-year-old Nathan Muir said: “I lost my dad when I was 11. He ate an especially hot McDonald’s apple pie and then exploded in the middle of a packed restaurant.

“There was apple lava all over the walls.”