Morrisons unveils Greedy Bastard range

A NEW food line aimed at greedy bastards is now on sale at Morrisons.

The Greedy Bastard range includes a yard-long sausage roll containing the meat of an entire pig.

Shoppers can also pick up a five-metre meat pasty for just half the price of a small lettuce, and a bucket of own-brand cola for the cost of half an apple.       

A Morrisons spokesperson, said: “We believe in giving our customers what they want and what they want is massive fucking portions of things covered in pastry.”

Customer Tony Booker said: “Instead of having to buy three or four sausages rolls at a time, now I only need to buy one, or perhaps two.

“It is actually a much healthier option because it stops me snacking between meals. I have been gnawing one massive sausage for three days and have had no snacks whatsoever.”