FOODIES are attempting to normalise the idea of cauliflower being the centrepiece of a roast dinner despite it having no right to be there.

While cauliflower is an ethical alternative to meat, people who like a good roast will never see it as anything but a side dish thankfully dunked in excessive amounts of cheese.

Josh Hudson of Plymouth said: “After going to a pub masquerading as a restaurant we were defrauded with a whole cauliflower head served like it was a haunch of venison. 

“I get it’s veggie, but they have their lasagne option to pick from. Roasts are meat. Vegetables are just there because a plate of meat on its own would be too expensive, although much better.

“Don’t get me wrong, cauliflower has come a long way since my mum’s flavourless over-boiled florets. But the intact spherical version still tastes like arse. I wouldn’t serve up my own arse to friends on a Sunday, even if I did foam it in butter.

“I’m sorry but a dash of curry powder doesn’t make this better than a slab of cow or pig with singed skin. If this is pub grub today, consider me strictly cauliflower teetotal.”

Partner Charlotte Phelps said: “I have one of those weird diets where I’m vegetarian sporadically, which is healthier and trendier. But sometimes it’s nice to have a traditional Sunday corpse.”