THE Royal Bank of Scotland is being run by someone compelled to spend as much money as possible by a clause in his eccentric uncle’s will, it has been claimed.
Economist Roy Hobbs revealed the appointment after RBS recorded its fourth consecutive year of losses since being bailed out by taxpayers’ money in 2008.
Hobbs said: “To most of us, these losses, coupled with the extravagant £785 million in bonuses RBS has issued, look like terrible mismanagement and a flagrant disregard for public sensitivity.
“But the real reason is that RBS Bosses have found themselves in the same position as Richard Pryor in the 1985 3-stars-out-of-5 film comedy Brewster’s Millions.
“It would then be downright immoral of them not to piss as much cash as possible up a wall, in the sure knowledge that their eccentric uncle’s will stipulates that they will get a far greater sum at the end of their massive, demented spree.
“On that basis we will continue to see a cavalcade of Faberge-egg powered hovercars, bonfires of Picassos and huge amounts of money awarded to people purely on the basis that they have interesting eyebrows.
“Also I would not be surprised to see some kind of special guest directorship for Gene Wilder.”
He added: “There’s a board game with a similar premise. I can’t remember that it’s called though.”