MORE Britons than ever are driving around in brand new cars like a bunch of total ponces.
Latest figures show an 11 per cent increase in people who can only validate their existence by showing you that they can afford a shiny box.
Tom Logan, a car salesman from Peterborough, said: It has been a fantastic year for ponces.
At one point we had 26 of them in the showroom at the same time, all desperate to buy one of those blue things over there.
We gave them espressos and copies of Country Living so they could continue to feel important while we took their stupid money.
Martin Bishop, who runs an Audi franchise, said: We used to wait until after the customer had left before laughing at how ridiculous and idiotic they are. But things have picked up so much that we can now do it to their face.
Last month I sold a Q3 arse-wagon to some twat for twenty eight grand. He said he thought it was a good deal because the knobs are easy to reach.
As he was staring at the car I walked up behind him, put my hand on his shoulder and said you are a complete cretin. He couldnt have cared less.
Bishop added: Thank you for my ponce conveyor belt, Top Gear.