Sunday, 18th April 2021

Shame about that business of yours, says Sir Philip Green to wife

A COMPLETELY uninvolved Sir Philip Green has casually mentioned the impending collapse of the Arcadia Group to their owner, his wife Tina. 

The couple were breakfasting on their yacht in Monaco when Philip spotted a headline about Arcadia, which he has no financial interest in whatsoever and indeed has barely heard of.

He continued: “Yes, apparently Topshop’s going tits up. Isn’t that one of yours?

“I seem to remember visiting it a couple of times and getting roped into some launch photos or something, even though I’m not connected to it in any way and that’s legally watertight.

“How’s the pension fund? Not that I’d know or anything. But hasn’t been left a few hundred million light or anything, has it? Still not my problem.

“Rude of me to bring it up, really. It’s your business, I shouldn’t go sticking my nose in. Pass the butter?”

Topshop employee Grace Wood-Morris said: “I don’t know how Sir Philip’s so rich when it’s his wife owns all the businesses. She must be really generous.”