ARE you paying the absolute maximum possible amount for a Twix, or saving money like a total loser? Spend like a billionaire at these outlets:
Cinemas
Market leaders at punter-fleecing after decades raking in profit on a product that’s 90 per cent air, they also lead in overcharging for buckets of Coke, bags of Munchies and nachos. Look forward to losing half your popcorn to the floor in low lighting, meaning it costs about 45p for every crunchy step.
Trains
The sad narrow buffet cars on trains offer incredible value on products both overpriced and extremely shit. You can pay £1.45 for a four-finger KitKat or drop £2 on a bizarrely-flavoured flapjack that promises much and tastes like sour cardboard. Get there quickly or they’ll run out before you’ve reached Rugby.
Motorway services
Hidden behind KFC and a display of travel pillows like a snake waiting to strike, the Walkers Grab Bag is priced at just 15p per crisp or crisp fragment. But take part in a convoluted meal deal and you can walk away with £2 of junk food for over a tenner.
Theme parks
Basically open prisons kept afloat by artificially-enforced scarcity, so it makes sense that snacks are priced as if sold illegally on the black market. And food here somehow tastes worse as well, as if each Snickers Duo has been flung about on the mine train or fished out the bottom of the log flume.
Any rural Spar
You don’t have to be a captive market to be grievously cheated. These glorified corner shops are masters of misdirection, ensuring you’ll never quite figure out the price of a pack of biscuits until you reach the till. Then you’ll slink away with the embarrassment of having been mugged by a hidden fluorescent sticker.
