Tickets to London property crash already sold out

MORE than 800,000 front row seats to watch London’s property market collapse in April next year have already sold out.

The tickets, which only went on sale on Wednesday, have proven hugely popular with provincial Britons who usually travel to the capital for West End musicals.

Susan Traherne of Nottingham said: “This is the big one. They’ve been building up to it for years, and it’s going to be spectacular.

“I can’t wait to see all those foreclosure signs springing up on the luxury apartments and the chorus of aggrieved homeowners crying ‘It’s worth half what we’re paying on the mortgage.’

“Apparently there’s a really moving performance of ‘This buy-to-let was meant to be my pension’ early in the second half that will have everyone in tears of delight.

“And the big closing number, when the banks move to Frankfurt and the Londoners all chant ‘A two-bedroom flat worth a million pounds, were we mad, were we mad, were we mad?’ sounds epic.

“It’s very far-fetched, of course. Couldn’t happen in the real world where the rest of us live.”