THE managers of a £3.5m cannabis farm in rural Wales have been busted for being indiscreet. Where have you set up yours so the police will never suspect?
Lucy Parry, student: “There’s an old applewood wardrobe upstairs in this house I inherited which leads to a magical fairytale land. Got rid of their endless winter and they’re happily farming weed in return. A season there takes 45 minutes here. I’m coining it in.”
Denys Finch Hatton, groundskeeper: “You need a large property nobody would dare check with no intruders, an oblivious tenant and a secure electricity supply. I’ve set up in the Royal Lodge, Windsor.”
Norman Steele, agricultural scientist: “Right next to my coca leaf farm and opium poppy farm. That way the police will be distracted.”
Helen Archer, estates manager: “Hidden in a cellar only accessible behind a revolving bookcase, and I’ve spread rumours about the terrifying Reefer Reaper to keep strangers away. Aw bollocks, the Scooby gang’s van’s broken down just outside.”
Thomas Booker, comms manager: “F**k. I knew I’d forgotten something. Where did I put the bastard? It was somewhere really clever.”
