WETHERSPOONS boss Tim Martin has confirmed that when he finds out who f**ked up his business by taking his beer and chefs away, they are dead.
The ardent Brexiter is furious that his pub chains are not only suffering a shortage of skilled staff but that ongoing supply issues have seen them run out of Carling, Coors and Bud Light.
He said: “I am on the warpath, and when I find out which twat’s responsible for this I’m going to punch them smack in the face. I mean, what a f**king idiot.
“Obviously my pubs need a constant supply of beer brought here on lorries from breweries around Europe, as well as plenty of staff prepared to work long hours for shit pay at a rapid turnover. That’s my business model.
“So whichever short-term thinker decided to make both of those things incredibly difficult has damaged my business and cost me millions of pounds, and the stress has made my hair even more mental.
“I bet it was Keir Starmer. Or Jamie Oliver. Or people who run pleasant pubs with music, tasty beer and toilets that aren’t four miles from the bar.
“I’ll get them, you mark my words. Because they are the biggest bellend who ever lived.”