THE summer holidays are over and children aged between four and 16 are enjoying their first day back at the frontline of a pandemic.
After six weeks of respite, primary and secondary school students have returned to the trenches of a nationwide experiment to see whether or not they increase transmission of an airborne respiratory virus and what it might do to them.
Mum Nikki Hollis said: “The first day back’s always the worst. Have they got everything they need? Will they make friends? Are they going to give the whole family coronavirus? There’s been lots of sleepless nights.
“And with no social distancing or masks, we’re waving them off to a petri dish swarming with coronavirus variants. But if it means they’re not under my feet all day, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
“They need to learn maths, English, handwriting, all that and the government needs to learn how frequent long Covid is in adolescents. So everybody’s learning.”
School kid Martin Bishop said: “Apparently there are going to be air monitors in the classrooms to keep us all safe, which would make a real difference if we weren’t all sitting cheek by jowl on the school bus.
“I give it a month until we’re back home and struggling to learn algebra over Zoom all over again. I wonder who Gavin Williamson will blame this time?”